


haunt me

by Perks



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perks/pseuds/Perks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a drabble written for Theo from tumblr.<br/>prompt: Leave a “Haunt Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character watching over another [as a ghost, watching from a distance, or otherwise, feel free to specify.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	haunt me

It's been a year.

It's been a year, and it's been too long, and yet it still hasn't been long enough for Enjolras to be okay.

The amis have given up on trying to make him feel better, because all of them have done their grieving and they need to move on with their lives however hard it may be and really, who can blame them?

It's been the hardest for Enjolras though, because he was the one who knew Grantaire the best. Even more than Eponine, who Enjolras isn't sure is doing very well but she won't accept help so he just leaves her be. He understands how she feels; Grantaire was everyone's, a constant presence at any of the meetings, but more than anything, he was  _theirs._  He was theirs, and now he's gone, and there's a big, gaping hole in their lives now, a painful, ragged hole, that they know they'll never be able to fill.

The worst part about it?

The worst part is that Grantaire did it himself. He knew there were people who loved him, but Enjolras knew he never thought himself worthy of that love. Even after the countless "I love you"s, the shared kisses, the embraces, he still didn't see himself as being worthy of love or attention, and that seemed to be something none of the amis could fix. He had been talking to Enjolras about it the night before; they were both tangled in the sheets, close together, and Grantaire was upset but didn't want to talk about it. Enjolras, well, he feels awful, because maybe he could've stopped it. If he'd known, he wouldn't have stayed late at work and gone to get R a jar of apology Nutella, wouldn't have arrived at their apartment only to see a note,  _I love you, and I'm sorry -R_ , and his body, slashes decorating his pale wrists, and blood, blood everywhere. He'd called Eponine, who'd called the cops, and meanwhile he'd just been cradling Grantaire in his arms, blood soaking his clothes, tears running down his cheeks, sobbing uncontrollably and wishing he could die with him. They'd had to pull him away, the cops and Eponine. He's sorry for that. She shouldn't have had to see him that way, but he'd never apologized to her about it.

He picks up the phone and dials her number.  _Dial tone... dial tone..._  "Hello?"

He tries to speak normally, but it comes out in a shaky whisper. "It's been a year, 'Ponine. I can't stand it. I miss him so much."

This begins a few hours long conversation, in which they talk about Grantaire, as in actually talk about him. They talk about that night, and Enjolras apologizes, and Eponine, kind soul that she is, says simply "of course," and forgives him.

If there is a heaven, Grantaire is certainly there, and for a moment after he hangs up Enjolras can swear that Grantaire is saying something to him. His heart thuds in his chest.

_I miss you too, Apollo. Stay strong. I love you._

And it is then that Enjolras begins to think that maybe he'll be okay. Life won't be perfect, because Grantaire made it perfect, but it'll be okay.

They'll all be okay.


End file.
